Exploiter or Abductor : Not a Stranger
Educating your children about strangers and friends
"Stay away from
strangers" is a popular warning to children to prevent abduction or
exploitation. Unfortunately, however, many children are abducted or exploited by
people who have some type of familiarity with the children but who may or may
not be known to the parents.
The term stranger
is a concept that children do not understand and ignores what we do know about
the people who commit crimes against children. It misleads children into
believing that they should be wary only of individuals who have an unusual or
untidy appearance. Instead, it is more appropriate to teach our children to be
on the lookout for certain kinds of situations or actions rather than certain
kinds of individuals.
Children can be
raised to be polite and friendly, but it is okay for them to be suspicious of
any adult asking for assistance. Children help other children, but there is no
need for them to be assisting adults. Children should not be asked to keep
special secrets from their parents and, of course, children should not be asked
to touch anyone in the bathing suit areas of their body or allow anyone to touch
them in those areas.
Often exploiters or
abductors start a seemingly innocent contact with the victim. They may try to
get to know the children and befriend them. They use subtle approaches that both
parents and children should be aware of. Children should learn to stay away from
individuals in cars or vans; and they should know that it is okay to say NO?
even to an adult. Remember, a clear, calm and reasonable message about
situations and actions to look for is easier for a child to understand than a
particular profile or image of a stranger.
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